Being in a relationship isn’t easy and trust me we (me and Roland) went through a lot and I mean A LOT! We split up like hundred times before we actually realised there is no point of splitting up again because we will be back together anyway 😀 . I won’t be telling you all about it..maybe one day, but for now I will keep it for myself, at the end of the day relationships are personal. What I wanted to talk about today is my 5 ‘secrets’ about why we probably lasted over 5 years now and hopefully we will last FOREVEEER, what a cliche! 😀
Send a card every now and then, it counts the most when it’s not expected. Send romantic texts, leave ‘love notes’ on fridge, in pockets, on bed so they can find it when they get home. Tell your partner what exactly you love about him or her and why that’s important to you, rather than just saying you love them but obviously don’t stop saying “I love you”. Flirt with your partner to keep that spark regardless of how long you’ve been together. Bring flowers, pay attention to what they say and then surprise them the next day, who doesn’t love surprises right? 🙂
2. Don’t expect your partner to change, respect your differences.
You all know the book “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus,” right? Men and women are simply different. If your partner is the opposite sex then get used to the idea that no matter how much you love them and no matter how well you know them, there are things about the way they think, feel and do that you will never truly understand. Be realistic! It’s nearly impossible to find a partner of your dreams, the one you saw in a movie. Well Roland is definitely not the one, but if you love the person and there are only few things which annoy you, you basically need to learn how to live with them. Roland is messy, stubborn and quite lazy I must say and even tho it drives me craaaaazy I know these are just few little things which I can somehow maintain and there are plenty more cons which because of I love him to bits! And also if both you and your partner stop trying to change each other, you will eliminate the source of most of your arguments so sometimes you just need to breathe and back off 😀 and it’s not easy! You need to love the fact you don’t love everything about your partner 😉 .
3. Communicate and be honest
If something really is bothering you talk about it in a calm controlled manner. Leave drama in the the movies and try to avoid conflict – rather talk through it. Probably the most difficult part in our relationship as Roland is not so affectionate person plus stubborn soo it’s usually me talking and he is just nodding :D. But we usually get to the conclusion somehow lol. Don’t forget to compromise and dream together, talk about future and your plans. Don’t forget that cheating is not okay! But if it happens you have to talk about it.
4. Look past the past
If you’re smart you learn from your mistakes, including mistakes you’ve made in other relationships but although it’s important to avoid repeating mistakes that have led to unhappiness and heartache in previous relationships, don’t let what was, blind you to what is. Your current partner and your current relationship are always going to be unique and different so don’t treat it the same. Also stop talking about his ex girlfriends and his mistakes it’s his past and not yours as a couple. Live in the moment and start building your future.
5. Don’t forget the small things
Saying please and thank you is important, it means you appreciate what the other person does for you. Manners are important – even with the person you’ve been with for 20 years. Say please and thank you, make polite conversation and why not offer your partner a coffee or “honey I’ll make you a breakfast what would you like?” A few manners will go a long way to maintaining a culture of mutual respect. For instance, me and Roland we always say good morning to each other and have a kiss, the same before bed. When we are about to eat we always say “enjoy” and kiss before we eat. I usually make breakfast but he always says thank you, yes he says that everyday!
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MASSIVE THANKS TO DJINN’S FOR KEEPING OUR FEET COMFY! 🙂
Pictures taken by RENO & MARCO
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Have a look at the similar blogpost HERE 😉 .